"I Don't Feel Like Talking to Anyone"

I realized when talking with my friends, family and on social media that many people, especially those in my inner circle, have not been feeling like reaching out or talking to anyone. Not in the sense of therapy, but in the sense of friendships and networking. My friends want to stay home, they do not have the energy to call or text, and honestly neither do I. Is it because of the pandemic or is it something deeper? When I asked my friend she said: 

"I think it's just that it's gotten so exhausting from the beginning of lockdown to keep in touch with people. And no one wants to reach out first because they feel like other people don't care about them."

 

 Initially I empathized with this notion. Before the pandemic it was easy to see other people- friends at school, acquaintances at work. Recharging your social battery was easy because of the routine everyone was accustomed to. Life was fast and exciting, especially in 2020 no one wanted to stop. Being forced to slow down and reflect introspectively exhausted everyone. Dealing with panic, rage, fear all within the same four walls- if you were lucky enough- makes home slowly morph into a prison. But especially recently, I felt that conclusion did not match up with the emotion most people at least in my circles are feeling.

Could it be just the stage in our lives? Everyone is recovering what they lost at this point I believe. We see people going back out, shopping, trying to find new jobs, going back to school and focusing on their own development. Personally I am trying to become self employed, focusing on a few main goals to complete this year. I will never get the wonderful opportunities I had in 2020 back, but I do not regret losing them either because they opened up new doors for me I would have missed otherwise. It allowed me mental reconnaissance of everything I pushed away with school and work, along with opening my eyes on what this country truly is. Friends are recovering their mental health, their grades, finishing up school and moving onto better employment opportunities. Family is starting anew, decluttering and realigning their mentality towards what they deem most important. 

This contemplation of antisocial attitude festered recently is important. It could be just the age I am at, on the cliff of adulthood and responsibility, but I believe it could be a byproduct of everything going on. I cannot help but feel melancholy recently of losing my naivety before I even realized it, and I feel as though most people are coming down from the high of being lazy. Coming to terms with what they lost, what they must do, and how limited our time is on this earth. A sense of urgency but an acknowledgement to take it easy, to take care of ourselves first. In some cases, this new 'self care'  has translated to "no one cares" and while many indeed do not, I believe it is not a conscious ploy to disregard, but instead a casualty of focusing more on oneself than what others are doing. While the direct cause varies upon individual, people have changed their mindset in this strange way. But no matter how much it changed our mindset, the responsibility we must take for our actions for our new ways on distancing friends and family, for prioritizing ourselves has not. In that way, those who feel this emotion that everyone is pulling away, needs to reflect on the subject of their trife; the others' situation, or even their own contributions to the distance, and whether it is even something worth worrying about.